Another Man's Child - Through the Years
by AmorFati32
Summary: A series of snapshots from the Another Man's Child Universe over the years.
1. Chapter 1

**This will be used to post random snippets from Another Man's Child that no longer fit in with the main story. Random ideas have popped into both mine and DearPearlie's head about my story, but the time has passed to post them in the full story, mainly because Ashley is now too old and is all grown up. So please humor us as we post in here from time to time. **

**This particular chapter was written by DearPearlie, and inspired by a couple of photos from Pinterest, and I have to say that it's one of my most favorite chapters ever. It's adorable, and I have to thank DearPearlie so much for writing it. I love your take on the Sculders, and I love your writing, and I love you!**

**Contains spoilers for Ascension and Duane Barry. It also contains angst and scenes that will melt your heart. **

"Mulder."

Dead to the world on the couch of his apartment, Mulder shifted his arm to cover his face. His unconscious self was trying to squeeze every last minute of sleep he could out of the night. His conscious self was quickly roused though, when he felt a tiny body climb up to sit on his abdomen.

"Mulder," his missing partner's daughter called to him, louder this time. Blinking slowly, she came into focus, looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed despite what Mulder instinctively knew was an early hour.

He was getting more and more used to having a kid around. In the two and a half months that Scully had been missing, Ashley had stayed at his place six times. Three were born of necessity – there were just some nights that Maggie needed to rely on Mulder to watch the little girl, and he was happy to do it. One time happened on accident. After crying for her mom for hours before bed one night, Maggie had to call Mulder for backup. That led to him packing the five-year-old up into the back seat of his car and driving around aimlessly, babbling about nothing and singing along to the radio with Ashley until she fell asleep. At the end of their journey Mulder was exhausted, and since they were closer to his house than Maggie's, he decided to let Ashley sleep at his place and take her back in the morning. Then of course had come the time when Maggie needed Mulder to take Ashley for the weekend after her sister had been released from hospital, when Ashley had wet the bed and cried for her mom and fallen asleep with Mulder on the sofa.

This time however, Ashley had planned their sleepover herself. She just got it in her little head one day that she would spend the upcoming weekend with Mulder. A few days later, her plan was executed, and Mulder was relegated to the couch.

"A few more minutes," he mumbled, putting his arm back over his face.

"No, Mulder, I'm hungry," she protested.

"Go get a snack, then. You know where the fridge is."

"I want peanut butter," she informed him.

"Peanut butter?" Mulder asked, peeking out at her through hooded eyes.

Ashley nodded emphatically.

"What on Earth made you want peanut butter at…" Mulder turned to check his desk clock, "7:30 in the morning?"

"I'm just hungry for peanut butter," Ashley shrugged.

"Okay, okay," Mulder surrendered, not able to deny Ashley anything. Effortlessly lifting the little girl off his chest, he kept her in his arms as he walked into the kitchen. Even though she was the one that woke them both up that day, she lay her head against his shoulder in a show of fatigue. Mulder felt a surge of protectiveness wash over him. Despite all of the shitty things she'd been through, she was still trusting and innocent enough to let him carry her around. He sincerely hoped she would stay that way her whole life.

"Peanut butter peanut butter peanut butter," Mulder murmured quietly while searching the cupboards for the creamy snack. He set out to make her a peanut butter sandwich, but he could hear his partner's voice in his head telling him she needed something more than just peanut butter and bread for breakfast. He missed her more than ever in that moment.

"I've got some bananas. Do you want a peanut butter banana sandwich?" he asked the girl, setting her onto the counter.

"Yeah!" she said enthusiastically, just because Mulder had suggested it. He let her help him, getting her to open bags and even letting her sneak a fingerful of peanut butter when she thought he wasn't looking.

"You know who loved peanut butter banana sandwiches?" Mulder asked, concentrating very hard on getting the majority of peanut butter off the knife and onto the bread.

"Who?" Ashley inquired.

"Elvis," Mulder dropped his voice and stuck out his bottom lip in an effort to imitate the rock star. Ashley was unimpressed.

"Who's Elvis?" she asked.

"The King! Only the greatest rock n' roll musician ever!" Mulder moved his face until he was inches away from the youngster's, trying to get her excited about a musical legend.

Ashley wasn't having it, and raised her eyebrow in disbelief at his actions.

"God," Mulder almost gasped as all of the air left his lungs, "You look just like your mom when you do that."

The sad look that passed over Ashley's face was enough to make Mulder regret saying that statement out loud. But then, she went and said, "I miss my mommy, Mulder," and broke his heart into a million pieces.

"I know you do Ash. I miss her too." He hated how many times he'd said that exact sentence to her.

"It's not fair. I don't have a mommy or a daddy."

_What do you say to that_? Mulder tried desperately to offer something up to her, but nothing could make up for the fact that after all this time, Scully was still missing. And every day, her prospects were looking more and more grim. Mulder knew that mostly everyone who knew Scully was missing believed her to be dead, but for the sake of her family and especially the tiny little being who sat in front of him, he had to do everything he could to find her. He had to act as if she were still alive and waiting for him. There was no other option.

"You have a Mulder, baby girl. A Mulder who will make you peanut butter and banana sandwiches and sing you Elvis."

"But I don't know who Elvis is!" Ashley whined, starting to pull on the sleeve of her Tigger pajamas with her teeth. Mulder gently coaxed her arm away from her mouth and thought of an idea.

"Hang on there, let me go find something," he said, lifting her down off the counter and setting her firmly on the floor. She watched him with her mother's eyebrow as he scrambled around his apartment looking for what he hoped would cheer her up. Finally, he found it on his desk. Grabbing his aviator shades, he took the treasure and popped it into the tape deck of the small stereo sitting in his kitchen windowsill.

"You ain't nothin' but a hound dog!" he sang to the confused five-year-old, amping up his Elvis impersonation by adding the sunglasses and dancing. As the music played along in the background, Mulder's dance moves got crazier and crazier in an attempt to get Ashley to smile. He was sure that any moment now, his downstairs neighbors were going to come up and make sure there wasn't a murder going on in his place. He never had any reason to dance before Ashley.

"You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine!" Mulder started stomping his feat in time with the music, getting closer and closer to Ashley as he did so, and she squealed in anticipation. Finally, a smile broke out over her face, and she let Mulder swing her into his arms. They danced the rest of the song in that manner, only pausing briefly so that Ashley could take the sunglasses off of Mulder's face and wear them for herself.

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Mulder tried not to wince every time he watched Ashley scrunch her face up in pain. He was sure this would be the last time Ashley asked him to brush her hair.

"What did you say you wanted it in? A horsey-what?" Mulder asked her, unsure of how to get her hair to do what she wanted.

"A ponytail," she reminded him in annoyance.

"And what is that?" Ashley stared at him dumbfounded, wondering how anyone could go their whole life without knowing what a ponytail was.

"You just… you make it all go up! And then you wrap the hair tie around it so it stays."

He did what he thought she was instructing him to do, but when Ash looked at herself in his bathroom mirror, he knew he hadn't gotten it right.

"No Mulder," she said plainly, ripping out the hair tie and handing it back to him, "try it again."

He tried again.

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"Okay Ash, it's a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, what do you say we skip on over to the park and chase a few ducks?" Mulder asked, coming out of his bathroom freshly showered and shaven. It hadn't taken him more than fifteen minutes to do both, but it was already eerily quiet in the rest of his apartment.

"Ash?" he asked, peeking into his bedroom and discovering the girl wasn't there. Just as he was making his way out to the living room though, he almost ran into the mini Scully.

"Can we watch this movie?" she asked innocently, holding out one of his porn tapes with a busty blond in a nurse's outfit on the front cover. Mulder had to hold in a shriek.

"Uh, no. No no no, it's not movie day today. We're getting far away from this house," he tried to keep cool, snatching the video from Ashley before she could take a better look at the outside. Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind the suggestion.

"Do I have to wear a jacket?"

"Uh, yeah. Go get your jacket on kiddo," Mulder stammered. Ashley skipped off, and he made a bee-line for his desk. Sure enough, the bottom drawer was open, evidence of Ashley rooting through it. Mulder kept porn stashed in various places around his apartment, he was not proud to admit, but the bottom drawer of his desk was where he kept most of the videos. He sighed in relief knowing that the one Ashley had picked up sported one of the tamer covers, but shuddered to think of what she could have seen. He threw the tape back in the drawer, and then searched through another to find the key. Without a second thought, he locked it up. Only later would he recognize the symbolic nature of that action in regards to Ashley's role in his life.

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"You have to let go Ash," Mulder tried to coax the child without getting up from the park bench. He didn't want the little girl to know it, but he'd twisted his ankle playing tag with her.

"No! It's too high!" she said in a panic from the monkey bars. She'd gotten to the second rung and realized that she wasn't strong enough to make it to the third. But the ground seemed so far away, and Ashley couldn't muster up the courage to let herself fall.

"So you're just going to hang there all day? Even after it gets dark?"

"Mulderrrrrr," she cried, kicking her legs uselessly. Despite the pain, he was beside her in seconds.

"I've got ya," he let her know as he wrapped his arms around her knees. Only then did Ashley let go, and she wrapped her arms around Mulder's neck like they were in the middle of a hurricane.

"I'm sorry," she said solemnly once her feet were back on solid ground.

"You don't have to be sorry. The monkey bars are the toughest thing on the playground."

"I was trying to be brave."

"You were very brave. You were very brave for having the courage to go up there in the first place."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. Brave means you do something even though you know it's scary."

"Do you get scared Mulder?"

He thought about recent scares. Of course there were the obvious ones: Scully being found dead, Scully never being found at all, never learning the truth about his sister's disappearance, being robbed or mugged when he was leaving work late. But then there were some that surprised him. He thought back to a time when Scully had first started on the X-Files with him – not long after he met Ashley. There had been a babysitting emergency and the little girl had gotten dropped off at the Hoover building around lunchtime. Scully couldn't leave right away but Ashley had claimed she was starving, and since it was a nice day, Mulder told them he'd treat them to a hot dog from a vendor cart near the National Mall. As they were walking there, Ashley had gotten a little too enthusiastic about one of her stories and stepped off the sidewalk into the street. She ended up between two parking places and had never been in any danger, but both Mulder and her mom had lunged forward, grabbing her and pulling her back onto the sidewalk before Scully launched into a small lecture about the importance of watching where she was going. As he remembered it, Mulder felt his heart rate increase. They'd gotten lucky that time, but the thoughts of all that could have happened to Ashley that day made him want to put her in a bubble for the rest of her life.

"Yeah. More than you might realize."

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"I don't want to go back to Grandma's," Ashley said for the eightieth time as they pulled up outside of Maggie's house that afternoon.

"Hey, don't talk like that. You miss your grandma and you know it," Mulder reminded her as he found a place to park.

"I miss you more," she said quietly, though Mulder heard it. Before long, they had parked and unloaded and were on their way up to Maggie's front steps. Mulder chuckled to himself to think of what his colleagues in the VCU would say if they saw him that Sunday, little pink suitcase in one hand and little pink girl in the other. Ashley knocked.

"Hello!" Maggie exclaimed when she opened the door. Mulder felt a pang of jealousy. Not only was Maggie a wonderful woman whose maternal instincts put his own mother's to shame, but she got Ashley permanently during their difficult time, and Mulder was just a visitor.

"Hi Grandma," Ashley greeted her, still not letting go of Mulder's hand as she was ushered into the house.

"Hi sweetheart. Did you have fun with Fox?" Ashley scrunched up her face in confusion before she remembered that Fox was Mulder's first name. She didn't like it.

"Yeah, we had a lot of fun," Mulder answered before Ash could correct her own grandmother. "Why don't you fill her in on some of the stuff we did?"

"Well, last night, Mulder made popcorn and we watched _Aristocats_. He fell asleep before the movie was over, but I got him to wake up and we played a game of Go-Fish before he told me I had to go to bed. Then he read me Dr. Seuss. But it wasn't the _Green Eggs and Ham_ book and it wasn't _The Cat in the Hat_, so I don't remember which one it was. Then this morning we made peanut butter and banana sandwiches and danced like the King. Then we went to the park and played. Then we went to the toy store and Mulder got me a new Barbie. Then we went back to his house and watched TV. And then we had to come back here." Ashley said the last part a little dejectedly, so Mulder jumped in before he thought Maggie would notice.

"Yup. We had a lot of fun together."

"I want to stay with Mulder all the time," Ashley decided to inform them. Thankfully, Maggie didn't seem hurt by her statement.

"This weekend was a treat, honey. Fox has to work during the week at the FBI."

"To find my mommy?"

Both adult swallowed a bit harder at that question. Neither of them could muster more than a nod.

"But I had a lot of fun with you Ash, and I promise that we'll get to do this again very soon, okay?" Mulder kneeled down to the youngster's level. Her mood dropped because she knew these were part of his goodbye words.

"Okay," she said in a small voice, walking into his open arms and planting herself there. Mulder hugged her for a long time.

"Be good for Grandma please."

"I will. I love you Mulder."

"Love you too Tigger."

The scary feeling was back. He said his goodbyes to Maggie and walked out of her home that night, wondering how he became so deeply and thoroughly entrenched in the feelings of his ex-partner's little girl. And how he ever went through life before that.


	2. Chapter 2

**I tried to leave this story alone, I honestly did, but it just wouldn't leave me be. These chapters are just basically filling in some of the gaps of my story - there's no general theme at the moment, just ideas when they come to me.**

**This chapter contains spoilers for Beyond the Sea, and is set just after the episode. **

"Thanks for doing this Scully, I appreciate it." Mulder hobbled along the corridor behind Scully as they headed to his apartment, still trying to get to grips with his crutches. Scully had volunteered to drive him home after he was discharged from the hospital barely a few days after his shooting; the doctor in her wanting to make sure he was settled and comfortable before she left him alone.

"All I did was bring you home Mulder; it's no big deal".

"I know, but I took you away from Ashley on your day off".

Scully was having none of it. "Mulder, my daughter seems to have hit her terrible twos two years late. I'm more than happy to take a couple of hours off of watching her bounce around the house and watch cartoons on endless repeat".

"That sounds kinda fun actually". He suspected that now he'd been placed on leave from the Bureau, he'd be bouncing off the walls of his own apartment in just a matter of hours. He wasn't good at sitting still, yet he'd been ordered to rest, by both the doctor and the hospital, and his own personal physician, Scully.

"Besides, my older brother is still in town, and I thought it would give him the chance to catch up with his favourite niece".

"That's very sneaky Agent Scully".

She smirked as she opened the door to his apartment. "Well when Bill has kids, I'll gladly repay the favour, as long as they're not as energetic as my daughter". After letting Mulder go in ahead of her, Scully followed him into the apartment, closing the door behind her. "I'll just put your bag away and then I'll make you some lunch. I can pop round later with some frozen meals for you". She waited for him to get settled on the sofa. "Where's your bedroom?"

"Oh, I don't have one".

It clearly wasn't the answer she was expecting. "What do you mean, you don't have one?" she asked, scrunching her nose up the same way that Ashley did when she didn't quite understand what her mom meant by "getting an early night" or "tidying her room". It was endearing; at least to Mulder.

"Well I have a "room", but it's more for storage".

"So where do you sleep?"

He patted the sofa. "Right here".

He could tell Scully wasn't quite sure whether to believe him or not. "Mulder, you can't sleep on the couch!"

"It's fine".

"Not with a leg injury."

"I've had worse." As his partner raised her eyebrows, he smiled. "Ok, so I haven't had worse, but I'll be fine".

"You're coming home with me."

"Are you propositioning me?" Mulder tried – and failed – to conceal a smirk as he saw Scully's cheeks redden.

"You need to sleep in a bed."

"I'm not kicking you out of your bed."

"You can have Ashley's bed and she can bunk in with me."

"Somehow I doubt I'll fit". He had an answer for everything, but it seemed that Scully did too.

"Well then, I'll take her bed, and you can have mine. Seriously Mulder, I'm not leaving you here alone. Besides, at least if you're under my roof I can keep an eye on you and make sure you stay remotely healthy".

"I'll be fine". He could see from Scully's expression that she wasn't falling for it. "You've got a lot on your plate as it is Scully. You don't have to worry".

"Ok," she finally conceded. "Well come round for dinner then."

"I can do dinner", he relented. "But only if you're sure."

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure."

"Ok then," he smiled. "Dinner it is."

"But bring an overnight bag, just in case."

And with that Mulder knew he'd lost the argument.

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"My bed is all made up for you," Scully announced, as she entered the living room and took a seat next to Mulder on the couch. Dinner had been a hit with her guest, and he'd repaid the favour by keeping Ashley entertained up until bed time. After putting her daughter to bed, Scully had made them both tea, before she retreated to her bedroom to get it ready for its overnight guest.

"Scully, you don't have to do this".

She ignored him. "Do not even THINK about looking in my underwear drawer".

"I can't believe you'd even suggest that I'd do such a thing." He grinned.

"If you need me, I'll be in Ashley's room."

"Listen Scully, thank you. I know that this is the last thing you need after everything that's happened over the past few days, but –"

Scully sobered. "I…I said I needed to keep busy, and I meant that. I'm grateful for the distraction. Besides", she added. "I appreciate your company. It makes a change from talking solely to a little person".

"I don't know; I know I've only met Ashley a few times, but she's pretty clued up for a four year old."

"Tell me about it. She's four going on twenty four, and she doesn't miss a trick. I half hoped she wouldn't really understand what was going on at the moment, but I think she does."

Mulder nodded in agreement. "She may not understand exactly what's going on, but she knows that something's happened and realises you're upset. Kids are often more clued up than we give them credit f–"

"Mommy?" Scully turned to see her daughter walking into the living room, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"What is it sweetheart?"

"There's someone in my room. Grandpa –"

"What?" Out of the corner of his eye, Mulder saw his partner tense.

"I don't want grandpa to die," Ashley sobbed, as she walked up to her mother and climbed onto her lap.

Scully pulled her in for a hug. "I know sweetie", Mulder heard her whisper. "I don't either". Feeling a little out of place, Mulder reached out and rubbed Ashley's arm as the little girl looked at him, her tears still falling. Without warning she shifted herself towards him. Scully tried to stop her, but Mulder shook his head. "It's ok".

"Your leg".

"It's fine", he said as Ashley transferred herself onto his lap, thankfully avoiding his wound. She buried her head into the crook of his neck and for a moment Mulder felt his chest tighten as he realized she'd put her complete trust in him. "It's ok", he murmured against her cheek before pressing his lips to her warm forehead. "You're ok". He noticed Scully glancing at him through watery eyes, giving him a shaky smile as he tried to comfort her daughter.

Pulling back, Ashley sniffed and looked up at him, her bottom lip trembling. "Will you check my bedroom Mulder?"

He nodded. "Of course I will".

"You come too Mommy".

Scully frowned. "Sweetheart, Mulder has hurt his leg; he should be resting".

"I want Mulder!"

"It's ok", Mulder interrupted, before Ashley had a full blown tantrum. After lifting Ashley up off of his lap and onto the couch, Mulder grabbed hold of his crutches which stood next to him, and rose from the sofa, waiting for Scully and Ashley to stand too. "You guys lead the way; I'll be right behind you". He followed them slowly back into Ashley's bedroom, pausing while Scully switched on the light. "Where did you see it Ashley?"

She pointed to the window. "Over there".

"Ashley honey, there's nothing there".

"Let Mulder look", the youngster urged her mom.

"Ashley –"

"It's ok Scully, I'll look". He hobbled over to the window, and pulled the curtains open. Nothing, just as he thought. "All clear". He turned back to face the little girl, noting that she still didn't look convinced. "Want me to check under the bed again?"

"Mulder", Scully warned.

"If it helps her get to sleep Scully, I'm more than happy to do it".

"Yes", Ashley finally answered.

"Yes what?" Prompted her mother.

"Yes please".

Under the bed then led to the wardrobe once again, underneath Ashley's dressing table and inside her chest of drawers. "It's all clear", he finally announced ten minutes later. "Do you think you can sleep now?"

Ashley nodded. "Will you read me a story?"

"Ashley, it's late honey, and Mulder needs to sleep. I can read you a quick story".

"I tell you what Ash; let your mom read you the story tonight and I'll do it another night". He was tired, the painkillers kicking in. Thankfully the little girl didn't complain, and instead turned to head for her bed. Suddenly thinking better of it, she marched up to Mulder and laced her arms around his leg – his healthy leg. "Night night Mulder", she said, pressing a kiss to his jeans, before padding over to the bed. As Scully helped her daughter into the bed, Ashley let out an impressive yawn, and Mulder knew it wouldn't be long before she was fast asleep once again.

"Goodnight Tigger", he murmured, wishing he could take away her pain, as well as that of Scully's. Carefully making his way out of the bedroom, Mulder left Scully to get her daughter to sleep, and headed back to the living room. After finishing the remainder of his tea, he realised that he could no longer hear his partner talking and so stood up from the couch, once again making his way towards the bedroom to make sure she was ok. When he reached the doorway, he smiled to himself, noticing Scully stretched out on the bed next to Ashley; her daughter wrapped in her arms. The two of them were sound asleep; finally at peace after their traumatic few days. He carefully – and as quietly as possible – hobbled over to the bed, manoeuvring his crutches so he could pull the comforter up over them, and then slowly made his way out of the room, switching out the light before closing the door and leaving mother and daughter to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Originally I wasn't intending to post a "morning after" chapter following on from the previous one, but your reviews convinced me otherwise. Here you go!**

**Spoilers for Beyond the Sea still.**

When Mulder woke the next morning, the last thing he expected was to find someone sat on his bed, watching him. He most certainly didn't expect that person to be a hyperactive four year old girl.

"Good morning", Ashley exclaimed, grinning as she realized he was now wide awake.

Mulder squinted up at her as she scooted closer towards him. His eyes darted towards the door, but it appeared Ashley had made her own way into the bedroom – Scully was nowhere to be seen. He glanced over the clock on Scully's bedside table, mentally groaning as he noticed it was barely 5am. No wonder his partner wasn't around. "What are you doing awake?" he rasped, licking his lips. Water, he needed water, though he wasn't sure his little friend was going to let him up.

"I couldn't sleep. I woke mommy up but she told me to go back to sleep, so I came to find you instead".

"Your mom's got the right idea. It's early".

"I'm not tired", she replied seriously.

"Of course you're not", Mulder remarked dryly, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

"You slept in my mommy's bed".

"I did. Your mom slept in your room, you remember?" For a moment he felt as though he was being put on trial by a four year old.

She nodded. "How's your leg?" Ashley suddenly asked, reaching out to touch it. Mulder intercepted her, well aware that her bedside manner was like her mom's, and left a lot to be desired.

"It's not too bad". It wasn't really a lie. He felt a dull ache in his thigh, and often a short burst of pain when he moved, but other than that, as far as bullet wounds went, it wasn't too painful.

"Can I see?"

"Not right now. Maybe when it's all healed".

"Do you have a band-aid?"

"I have a big band-aid".

Ashley looked suitably impressed. "Is it pink?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "No, no it's not pink".

"My mommy gets me pink band-aids".

"Your mom is cool".

The youngster nodded in agreement. "She can get you some band-aids".

"I don't think pink is my color. I'm a boy".

Sitting back, Ashley studied him hard. "No you're not".

"I'm not?"

"You're Mulder. You're not a boy".

"Aaah of course".

"And boys stink".

"They do sometimes", he admitted with a grin. Stretching, Mulder glanced to the left of the little girl, noticing a book discarded on the bed. "What are you reading?"

"Snow White".

"You like fairy tales, huh?"

She nodded. "I want to be a princess when I'm a big girl".

"A princess?"

"Uh huh. I wanna wear a pretty dress and have my hair all curly and wear a crown. And have lots of servants to bring me candy", she added as an afterthought.

Mulder smirked. "You've got it all figured out".

"I just need to marry a prince".

"You know what? How about you wait a while before doing that?"

Ashley chewed her lip, as though she was seriously considering his words. "Maybe next year?"

"Or maybe the year after".

"But soon".

"Of course. Maybe just get the servants first. The Prince can wait a while". He had no doubt Ashley would have people running around after her – he was already at her beck and call.

Ashley suddenly picked up the book and stretched out on the bed, scooting closer so she rested her head on Mulder's torso. He tensed, unsure what to do. "Will you read to me Mulder?" she asked, lifting the book up into the air.

"You should be sleeping", he admonished half-heartedly, already well aware he was going to do as she requested as he took hold of the book and lifted his arm to let her get comfortable.

"I can't sleep".

"Your mom will be wondering where you are".

"My mommy's sleeping. I wanna stay here with you".

Mulder knew she'd won the battle. "I guess I could read a little bit". He opened the book onto the first page. "Once –"

"Mulder?"

"Hmmm?"

"Did you know my Grandpa?"

He stilled, not quite sure what to say. "I didn't", he said, settling for the truth. "I never met him".

"He died".

"I know he did. I'm very sorry about that".

"Why did he die?"

"Because…" he wasn't quite sure how to answer. "Sometimes people die, if they're very very ill –"

"My mom said my grandpa was".

"He was", he agreed. "He was very sick".

"Why didn't the doctor make him better?"

"The doctor tried, but sometimes, in very very rare circumstances", he stressed, not wanting to upset or scare her. "It's not always possible".

"I miss him".

"I know you do".

"My mommy does too. I heard her crying last night".

"You did?" Ashley nodded against him. "She's bound to be very upset, but it's ok to cry. It's ok to carry on too though. Your grandpa would want to see you happy".

"I'll be happy when you read me Snow White".

Mulder huffed out a laugh. "Alriiiight", he said, taking the hint and flicking to the first page. "You know, your grandpa would be so proud of you. You and your mom. You've both been so brave".

"You think so?"

"I know so. I'm proud of you both".

"I'm proud of you too Mulder".

"You are?" She nodded. "Are you trying to butter me up so I get on with the story?"

"Uh huh".

"Ok. Once upon a time, there lived a little…"

"Don't forget to do the voices".

Mulder glanced down at the little girl who was staring up at him with such expectation. "The voices?"

"The voices".

"Right". He cleared his throat and tried again. "Once upon a time, there lived a little girl…."

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Mulder blinked sleepily as he heard rustling the other side of the door. Moments later, it creaked open and Scully peered into the room, shaking her head bemused as she noticed her daughter fast asleep in Mulder's arms, the book long forgotten. "I wondered where she went", she remarked dryly, tucking an errant strand of hair back behind her ears. Mulder concealed a smile as he took in his partner's appearance. It was very rare he got to see her as anything but Agent Scully but here she was, clad in a white bathrobe having no doubt just woken up.

"She's been keeping me entertained".

Nodding, Scully padded in the room, stopping shy of the bed. She glanced down at her daughter with a small smile on her face. There was so much love in her gaze that Mulder felt his throat tighten. "I hope she wasn't bothering you".

"Never. We've been reading. I did the voices", he added, and Scully caught his eye.

"I'm sure Ashley gave you constructive criticism in return".

"My wolf voice needs work apparently".

"It happens".

"I'll get working on it before next time".

"Thank you", she said, her voice strained. Mulder gave her a questioning look. "I heard you guys talking earlier. About my father". Scully paused as she took a deep breath. The pain over losing her father was still so fresh and raw. "I appreciate what you said to Ashley".

"I meant it". Mulder looked down at the little girl. "I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you both right now. But you're going a great job".

"I don't feel like I am".

"You are Scully, believe me. And if ever you need someone to talk to, or to put on silly voices for overexcited four year olds, just give me a call".

She gave him a watery smile, tears clouding her eyes. "Thank you", she whispered.

"Overexcited and ticklish four year olds".

"Pardon?"

Mulder gestured down to Ashley with his eyes. "Something tells me this little one isn't quite asleep". Sure enough the youngsters shoulders moved as she struggled to hold in a laugh. "I think the real test is to see if she's ticklish, don't you?"

Her grin widening, Scully perched down on the edge of the bed. "Oh she _is _ticklish", she agreed. "Especially…here!" Her hands darted out to Ashley's stomach and she began tickling her. Sure enough, the little girl's eyes immediately opened and she let out a giggle.

"Noooo!" she exclaimed, cackling as Scully tickled her while Mulder held her in place. "I'm awake, I'm awake!"

"Unfortunately so's the Tickle Monster", said Mulder, grinning as he took in the scene, glad to see both mom and daughter finally smiling after all they'd been through in the past week.

"Careful sweetheart", warned Scully, as Ashley started wriggling. "Mind Mulder's leg".

"I'm good", he said, not wanting to spoil the fun. "I'll be ok. And so will you", he said, regretting his words the instant Scully paused in her ministrations. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. She caught his eye, and after a moment nodded. "I know", she said, then in a move that surprised him, reached down and squeezed his hand. "I know".


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry for the delay, life has gotten in the way, but please feel free to bug me to post some more.**

**In the meantime, this awesome chapter was written by my most favorite co-writer, DearPearlie. Thank you dear.**

The first thing Scully did when she entered her home at 1:45 in the morning was kick off her shoes and heave a huge sigh of relief. A fourteen hour flight delay out of San Diego plus a two hour layover in Tulsa had cost her and her partner a whole day of rest following the disturbing and emotional Arcadia Falls case. Thankfully, it was early Saturday morning, meaning that instead of having to go into the office in a few short hours, they'd get to unwind at home. Well, at Scully's home. Mulder, who had offered to carry her bags up to her apartment in what Scully knew was a gesture of apology for their misunderstandings in California, proceeded to flop himself down on her couch. He kicked his shoes off too, meaning he wasn't planning on moving anytime soon.

Instead of arguing with him, Scully reconciled with the fact that she'd have a guest that night and began checking her messages. One from her friend Angela and one from her Aunt Olive, both wishing her a happy birthday. And an old one from Missy that she would never erase, dated just the week before she died, talking about an alternative health book store that she wanted to check out. It was a quick and easy way to hear her sister's voice, and Scully listened to it often. Sometimes it made her sad. Sometimes it made her smile. She'd gone to the book store about a month after Missy died and bought a few boxes of tea. It tasted gross, but it made her feel closer to the sister she missed so much.

"How old did you say Aunt Olive was?" Mulder asked, reclined now with his hand covering his whole face. Scully shed her coat on her way into her bedroom, searching for a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt that he'd left at her house the last time they got back to DC at 1:45 in the morning.

"91. She's my grandmother's oldest sister," she answered from the bedroom.

"And she was born in Ireland?"

"Yeah. Their whole family moved here when she was… fourteen I think." When Scully tossed her partner his pajamas for the night, they landed square on his face and she considered it a small victory.

"God, I can't imagine that."

"What? Moving?"

"No. Living to be 91."

Mulder did look quite comfortable, so Scully flopped down right next to him.

"I guess we can only hope, right?"

"Yeah, hope that we kick it before we become nonagenarians," he said tritely. But when he shot Scully a glance, her brow was wrinkled and he knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"You don't want to live to be 91?" she asked.

"I guess if I was still physically capable and had all of my facilities, but I doubt that'll be the case."

"When do you want to 'kick it,' as you called it?"

"I don't know. I'm just pretty damn certain I'll want to before I'm 91."

Scully was silent.

"No offense to your aunt, Scully. If she's in good health and she's happy then I'm happy for her."

It took her another minute to say something.

"What if you make it to 91 and you find that your life is more full and happy than at any other point, but you have to use a wheelchair to get around or you have to take six different medications twice a day or you sometimes forget your grandchildren's names? Would it be too much for you?"

"Is it a motorized wheelchair?" Mulder asked, knowing that Scully was being serious but still wanting to lighten the mood. It was late.

"When do you think you'll be ready to die? When do you think your family and your friends will be ready to let go of you forever?"

"I didn't intend on deciding that tonight," he said, looking at her – studying her. Her eyes were closed and the worry lines on her forehead were prominent. He named them in his head. Jack. Cancer. Hybrids. Abduction. Mulder. Mulder. Mulder.

She opened her eyes slowly and looked over at him. She'd felt him gazing at her. "I just don't like to think about you dying."

Mulder felt a strong pang of guilt surge through his whole body and grabbed hold of her hand. If she were the one talking about wanting to die, he'd certainly take issue with it. "I'm sorry."

"We have close calls almost on a daily basis. Living to be 91 and being able to spend all that time with Ashley and my family and you would be the greatest blessing I could imagine."

"You really want me around when I'm 91? Screaming about mutants and mind-readers? Pointing my cane at the sky searching for the unknown?"

At least that elicited a smile from his partner. Mulder threw his arm around her shoulders and encouraged her to stand up as he did. "I don't want you to worry tonight. You're going to be stuck with me for a long long time and there's nothing you can do about it."

The plan was to get into his pajamas, say goodnight to Scully, and retire to the couch, as per usual during their impromptu sleepovers. But after he emerged from the bathroom in much comfier clothes to find Scully in her own pajamas sitting at the edge of her bed, he knew there was more fixing that needed to be done.

"Come on, get in," Mulder ordered, turning down the bedspread and hopping into her bed. She looked perplexed even though they'd shared sleeping spaces many times before. He reached out his hand for her and she slowly took it, letting him help her under the covers right next to him. Without words, Mulder shut off the light and settled in next to her. Scully smelled just like she always did… flowery and nurturing and safe. He wanted to live to be 91 just to smell that smell every day.

"I mean what I said, Scully. We're going to have to put up with each other for a long time. I'm not finished trying to convince you of my theories and I know without a doubt that you're going to need at least two more lifetimes to get me to try bee pollen yogurt," Mulder rambled when he realized Scully wasn't getting any closer to sleep. He felt her stomach muscles contract underneath his palm as she laughed so he placed a small kiss directly behind her ear.

"I know. But we've gotten so lucky so many times. I just wonder when our luck is going to run out."

"It's not luck. You're supposed to be here. We're supposed to be here."

"Not everybody gets to live to be 91. What makes us special?"

"It's part of the plan," he said simply. Even if they lived to be 191, he still wouldn't have enough time to list to Scully all of the things that made her special.

"Now I know you're trying to get me to shut up," she referred to his uncharacteristic acknowledgement of fate.

"Is it working?" she could hear the smirk in his voice.

"It'll never work."

"Good." There were a few moments of silence between them after his remark, though both of them knew the other was still awake. Thinking.

"Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't know."

"But I should've."

"Just promise me something."

"Anything." _Anything._

"When you're 91, no matter where you are or what's going on, can you just remember this moment and remember how much you mean to Ashley and me?" her voice cracked, and Mulder tightened his arms around her.

"I won't ever forget it."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hi Fox, Ashley's in the kitchen," Maggie happily greeted him later that morning. Last night's events had Mulder cooking up a plan in his mind, and he knew Ashley would want to be involved. So he slipped out of bed before Scully was awake and called to ask if the little girl wanted to come home early. Thankfully, despite her recent attitude issues, she did.

"Thanks," Mulder smiled, making his way through Maggie's warm home. Ashley smiled up at him from her cereal bowl in the kitchen. It was contagious.

"What's up short stuff?" he asked. He slid a chair out from the table and plopped himself down in it, stealing her cereal bowl and tipping it up to drink some of the milk.

"Nothing much, big stuff," Ashley retorted, used to Mulder's morning silliness.

"I need your help."

"With what?"

"Your mom's birthday present."

"We got her the flowers."

"Yeah well… I think she deserves something else." Nobody saw Maggie at the sink, smiling widely to herself, so thankful for her daughter's unlikely partner.

"Like what?"

"That's what I need your help with. Ready to go?"

"Yup!" Ash bounced up. After hugging Maggie and gathering her things, Ashley and Mulder were making their way downtown, determined to find a gift Scully-worthy.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"_Mulder, where are you?"_ his phone rang not a half hour into his and Ashley's expeditions downtown.

"I picked up Ash and we're out getting some breakfast," Mulder answered quickly, having already anticipated that Scully would wake up wondering where he was.

"_Oh."_

"Want us to bring you back something?"

"_No, um… just Ash."_

"Alright, we won't be long."

"_Thanks."_

Mulder hung up without saying goodbye, which was par for the course for the partners. Ash, who was walking alongside of him and had been listening to his part of the conversation, looked up with a questioning gaze.

"Why do we have to go home?" she pouted.

"I think your mom is missing you."

"But we still haven't found anything special."

"We don't have to go right away."

"Okay good," Mulder couldn't tell if Ashley was really focused on finding her mom something special for her belated birthday present or she just didn't want to go home in light of the recent fighting she and Scully had been engaging in.

"Think think think," the man said to himself as they walked down the waking-up streets.

"What about jewelry?" Ashley offered. Mulder winced. After the events of their case in Arcadia and his recent ill-timed declaration of love, Mulder didn't think jewelry would send the right message to his partner.

"Maybe something a little less mushy."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ashley asked, sounding exactly like her mother. A long, elegant evening gown in the window of a boutique caught Mulder's attention for a second. If mush was what he was looking for, it was there. Still, he would have loved to see Scully in it.

After being momentarily distracted by the dress, Mulder looked down to see that Ashley was no longer at his side. She was also easily distracted, and as sneaky as a little ninja sometimes.

"Ash?" Mulder called, frantically looking around for the youngster. He spotted her across the street, enthralled by a giant advert on the side of a building.

"You know how much I hate it when you run off," he griped once she was in earshot. But she more or less ignored him.

"I want to see this," she informed him. Mulder gave it a quick once-over.

"You've seen _The Lion King_. Many many times."

"No, this isn't the movie. This is the musical. It's new."

"How do you make _The Lion King_ into a musical? Did they train a bunch of lions and elephants and zebras to dance and sing?"

"Mulderrr," Ashley looked at him like he was completely stupid, "they're people dressed up like animals."

"Sounds strange."

"We could take Mom for her birthday," she suggested.

"Is this your mom's gift or is this your gift?" Mulder pressed, although a theater trip with his girls did seem like a nice night out. Maybe Scully would even wear a dress like the one he saw in the window…

"Please please please?"

Mulder read the advert once again, noting the name of the theater and realized it was just a few blocks away. They could visit the box office and at least inquire.

He could tell that he and Ashley were the first visitors to the Kennedy Center that morning when a twenty-something working there almost groaned at the sight of them.

"What can I help you with?" she asked.

"When is your next performance of The Lion King?"

"Tonight is our last performance for the season." Ashley's eyes got wide and she grabbed onto his wrist.

"Are there any available seats?"

"Uhh… yeah," the young lady said after tapping away at her computer, though her grimace told Mulder that something was up.

"Do you have three?"

"Yes."

"Good seats?"

The receptionist smirked again. "Really good."

"Okay then, I guess I'll take them," he said, physically feeling Ashley's delight.

"Alright, that'll be $482.50."

Mulder felt his knees go weak and his breath leave his body, but Ashley was already happily hugging and thanking him. His fate, and his wallet's fate, were sealed.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Why are we so dressed up for a movie?" Scully asked as they took a cab downtown that night. The plan was to surprise her in front of the theater, and Mulder had already busted Ashley as she was about to spill the beans more than once during the day.

"It's one of those fancy theaters where they have subtitles and they bring you champagne in skinny glasses," Mulder lied.

"Ash, this was your idea?" The little girl nodded excitedly. She was about to burst. "Well, I hope you don't complain halfway through that it's boring or that you want to go home."

"I won't."

There was considerable traffic as they approached the Kennedy Center and Mulder felt reaffirmed in his decision to take a cab, even though he'd already spent way more on Scully's birthday present than he originally intended.

"Do you want to get out here? I think this is the closest I'll get," the cab driver informed them. Mulder agreed, paid the man, and lead Ashley and Scully out of the car. Scully's face was scrunched up in confusion.

"What's going on?" she asked as she looked up at the marquee. Ashley couldn't contain herself anymore.

"Happy birthday!" she exclaimed, hugging her mom.

"Happy birthday?" Scully looked to Mulder for more information.

"Yeah," Mulder started, suddenly shy, "Ash and I wanted to do something special for you this year, and we thought you might like this." He fished around in the pocket of his coat and revealed the three tickets he'd purchased earlier that day.

"Jesus Christ, Mulder," Scully said as she took hers. She couldn't believe how thoughtful the gift was.

"I think _someone_," he nudged the wriggling girl, "was thinking more about what she'd like for _her_ birthday, but we decided this would be a pretty fun time."

"I never expected anything like this… thank you guys," Scully stuttered through her surprise. She wrapped Ashley up in her arms, and then did the same to Mulder a few seconds later. He was still feeling guilty about touching her after their "encounter" in California, but his partner's happiness trumped all.

"Can we please go inside now?" Ashley begged, and the adults couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. Mulder had already conceded that Ashley was the real benefactor of this gift. But what he didn't know was how his willingness to make her daughter happy affected Scully. It was the real gift of the evening.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"She's out," Mulder announced a few minutes into the cab ride home. He and Scully had been discussing the finer points of the evening, including the amazing performance and their surprisingly amazing front and center seats. Ashley had been singing "I Just Can't Wait to be King" to herself and looking out the window at the beauty of DC when she apparently leaned her head against the glass and dozed off.

"I'm not surprised, she was practically out of her seat for the whole thing," Scully smiled over at her not-so-little girl.

"I'm glad she had a happy night. She deserves it."

"Hey, I thought this was supposed to be my birthday gift," Scully joked.

"You didn't have a happy night?" Mulder played along.

"I did. I was really wonderful. Thank you so much," Scully nestled herself into Mulder's side, so happy that she could do that despite all the times they'd been at odds recently.

"Happy birthday Scully. You're one year closer to 91," he smiled, throwing his arm around his partner's shoulders. The sentimental statement made Scully tingle, and she couldn't be sure if it was the glass of wine she'd had at intermission or their actions in Arcadia or even the sexual tension that had been between them seemingly forever, but she really wanted to kiss him in that moment.

So she did.

Mulder responded, and their lips stayed locked for several minutes before the cab stopping indicated the end of their ride. That was when things immediately turned awkward.

"I'll… uh… I'll get Ash," he said as he fumbled with his money. Scully just looked down at her shoes. _I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have done that. _

Her daughter was tucked in all too quickly, and Scully panicked when she saw Mulder emerge from her bedroom. They'd had such a nice night, why did she have to go and ruin it by kissing him?

"Well, Ash is dead to the world. I'll let you get some sleep too," Mulder made his way to the front door without looking his partner in the eye. Her heart was sinking. Don'tgodon'tgodon'tgo…

"Don't go," she said against her will. Mulder froze and turned to her, letting her set the stage for what happened next.

"I'm sorry, I just… I don't know what… I don't want you to," Scully had tears in her eyes as she stammered, searching for an explanation. She put her hands on his cheeks and brought his face down to hers one again, kissing him deeply even though he wasn't reciprocating.

He pulled away, their lips making an audible pop, and he saw that she was fighting tears with everything in her.

"This is too confusing," Mulder admitted.

"I know," Scully agreed.

"I want you too much to do this."

"I know."

She was so ashamed of herself for needing him the way she felt she needed him in that moment. When he put his large hand on her shoulder, it made everything that much worse.

"But I know you're not there."

"I want to be. I want to be sure of something because I just feel like this relationship we have is getting so much more complicated than it is safe."

"Right. Which means we can't do this."

Scully nodded, sniffling.

"I'm not mad at you," he felt the need to tell her. She blamed herself for so much already.

"I'm mad at me."

"Please don't be. I just want to make sure that when you're sure… you're sure."

"This is the most intense relationship of any kind that I've ever been in. I don't want to fuck this up."

Mulder chuckled softly to himself, kissing her forehead. It gave him hope to hear her speak like that.

"Me either. That's why I'm going to go now, okay?"

"Okay."

"I had a great night."

"Thank you, it was one of the best gifts I've ever gotten."

"Anything for you, partner," Mulder elicited a smile from her. After he showed himself out though, Scully's smile quickly turned to a frown and she immediately ran to her bedroom, frustrated and humiliated.


	5. Chapter 5

**Minor spoilers for Never Again and Per Manum. It fits later into my AMC timeline, just after the Sculders' vacation to Martha's Vineyard.**

"Hey Scully". Mulder's eyes widened in surprise as he saw his partner stood on the doorstep of his apartment, dressed down in jeans and a white blouse, with a takeout bag in one hand and a four-pack of beers in the other. He certainly wasn't expecting to see her that evening – they'd said goodbye to one another less than two hours before, and she certainly hadn't mentioned popping over. Not that he minded of course, he loved spending time with her, but he didn't want to push her – not after their vacation at Martha's Vineyard, when they'd agreed to take things slow.

"Hey". She looked uncertain. "Is now a good time?"

As he paused, Mulder realized she was probably taking his silence in the negative. "Of course", he rushed to answer, stepping back. "Come in".

"I was just in the neighbourhood dropping Ashley off at her friend's house, so I thought I'd pop by and see if you fancied some food". That was a lie, Mulder knew. As far as he was aware, none of Ashley's friends lived near him, but he wasn't about to argue, especially when the smell of Chinese takeout was wafting in his direction.

"I always feel like food", he replied, taking the beers from her grasp and heading out into the kitchen. He cracked open two with a bottle opener, and placed the other two in the fridge to keep cool. Scully followed him out, settling the takeout bag on the counter and busying herself grabbing clean plates. As she reached for the cutlery drawer, Mulder stopped her. "I've got chopsticks somewhere in there".

"Chopsticks?" It was the same look she gave him when he suggested aliens were responsible for crop circles, not teenage pranksters.

"Let's go authentic Scully".

She didn't look convinced, but Mulder noticed with a grin that she bypassed the knives, forks and spoons and found the chopsticks. He followed her back out into the living room, settling the beers and takeout bag on the coffee table before sitting down cross legged on the floor. After a brief moment of hesitation Scully followed suit, and busied herself opening the plastic containers. "I wasn't sure what you were in the mood for so I got a little bit of everything. There's duck, prawns, pork and chicken. I got a large orange chicken because I know it's your favorite".

Mulder smiled to himself. He'd never told her it was his favorite, and yet it was one of the many things she seemed to know about him. Really they were perfect for one another, he thought. Scully just needed time to realize that for herself. "Thank you". He dove in, helping himself to two spoonfuls before moving on to the pork and rice. "This is great. Ashley doesn't know what she's missing out on". He figured it was best to stick to safe subjects.

"Well I do believe she's having pizza tonight, so she's not entirely missing out".

"When do you pick her up?"

"She's being dropped off late tomorrow morning, which means I get to celebrate with a lie in".

"Nice".

Scully nodded as she took a bite of her king prawns. "No one tells you that when you have a baby, you say goodbye to sleeping in. Well, sleep in general actually". She paused, considering her words, and Mulder knew she was thinking about their baby that wasn't meant to be. Not wanting her to get upset, he tried lifting the mood.

"I bet no one told you that when you started working with me you said goodbye to your sleep too".

She huffed out a laugh as she reached for a beer and took a sip. "They certainly didn't". Her eyes twinkled mischievously, just as Ashley's did when she was up to something. "What with you and Ash, there's no hope for me".

"There certainly isn't. But you wouldn't have it any other way, right?" he joked.

Scully sobered, glancing over at him, deep in thought. "Right", she agreed, her voice serious. "I wouldn't have it any other way".

His heart constricting, Mulder took a swig of beer, not wanting to ruin the moment by telling his partner yet again that he was in love with her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They made an impressive dent in dinner, at least in Mulder's eyes. He surveyed the damage – half empty containers spread across the coffee table, two empty bottles of beer now forgotten about, two full ones recently opened. Scully however looked dismayed. "So much wasted", she commented, groaning as she shifted on the floor to begin the task of clearing up. Mulder could sympathize; he felt as though he could barely move after all he'd eaten.

"It's not wasted", he commented, belching quietly. "I'll have it for breakfast".

Scully gave him a look not dissimilar to the one she gave Queequeg when he threw up on the rug after eating sand at Martha's Vineyard. "You're kidding".

"I joke not Scully".

"You're like a human garbage can".

"I'll open an X File on it tomorrow. If I can move".

"I'll clear this up then".

"It's ok Scully, leave it. I'll do it later". She looked skeptical. "I will. Sit back down".

For once she didn't argue, and did as she said. She scooted back so she was sat next to Mulder, leaning against the sofa with her legs stretched out in front of her. She let her head drop back onto the sofa cushion and closed her eyes. "That was so good", she uttered. Mulder tried to ignore the way her shirt tightened as she stretched, the buttons straining around her chest. Memories came flooding back of her arching up against him in pleasure and Mulder shifted on the floor, trying to think of something different. Anything different. As she sat up, his eyes settled on her lips. "Umm Scully?" he said, his own hand moving to his face to brush his lip.

"Hmm?

"You got something". Again he gestured. Taking the hint, Scully wiped her lip, completely missing the spot of soy sauce. Mulder smiled. "Not quite". He leaned over her, carefully moving her hand out of the way before gently wiping the sauce away. He tried not to get too distracted when Scully licked her lips absentmindedly. He hated it when she did that – it made him want to chase her tongue with his own. "All gone", he whispered, his eyes meeting hers before darting down to her lips. God he wanted to kiss her. *Slowly* he told himself. *Take it slowly*

"Thank you", Scully replied, her eyes now dilated as his breath kissed her lip. He could see that she wanted him but he made no effort to bridge what little gap there was left between him. It was up to her now. "I umm…I'd better clean up".

Before Mulder could actually process what was happening, Scully shifted onto her knees and began collecting the containers once again. Her blouse had lifted up and as Mulder followed her movements he saw her tattoo peeping out at him above the waistband of her jeans. He couldn't stop himself, and his hand reached out to touch it. Scully froze.

"I've never seen it before", he murmured, his finger gently tracing the circle of the snake "Not really. Not when we…" The times they'd made love so far had been fast and frantic other than their first time, after the failed IVF, but still he hadn't taken the time to explore her body properly. He'd seen the pictures of course after her hospitalisation following Jerse's attack on her, but he'd never seen it close up.

Scully still said nothing, instead remaining dead still, as though waiting for Mulder to pounce. When he did nothing, she let out a sigh, her hands moving down to her chest. Mulder watched with bated breath as she slowly began to undo the buttons on her shirt. He wasn't quite sure what was happening, but he also wasn't about to argue, not when his partner was stripping in front of him. When the last button was freed, Scully removed the shirt and placed it on the sofa wordlessly. She kept her back to Mulder, who was captivated by the lacy black bra she was wearing. He knew though that that wasn't the point and so decided to give the tattoo his full attention.

"It's beautiful", he uttered, his voice dry. He licked his lips, tracing the oroborus once more. "The red, it's so vivid".

"I know".

"Why a tattoo Scully?" asked Mulder, before asking the one question he'd been wanting to know ever since she got it. "Was it because of me?"

Scully stepped away, turning around to face him. Mulder's eyes lifted to settle on her face. She looked thoughtful, apprehensive, as though she was debating whether or not to tell him the truth. He wanted her to tell him the truth. "In a way", she admitted. He thought so.

"I was going through a bad time, what with trying to cope with everything that had happened, and then the worry over my cancer".

Mulder frowned. "You knew then?"

"I had a feeling".

He felt awful. He wished he'd have been there for her, rather than acting like an asshole. Maybe then she wouldn't have sought comfort in Ed Jerse's arms. "And then I refused to get you a desk".

"It wasn't about the desk Mulder, not really. All my life I'd been attracted to the wrong type of men, controlling men, and after a while I've resented it and rebelled against it. Jack was…he was a good man for the most part, but after a while he tried to control me and my life, my job and my decisions. When I first found out I was pregnant he was even worse, even though we were no longer together. I told you he wanted me to have an abortion?" Mulder nodded. "When I refused he…well he made me feel stupid, and acted as though I'd tricked him into having a baby. The tattoo was to remind me of that time, and others, and to tell myself "never again". I wasn't going to let it happen again".

"Am I the wrong type of man Scully?" Mulder asked after considering her words.

Scully didn't reply immediately, but instead moved in closer. "You don't control me Mulder. I respect your opinions, even when they're wrong". He allowed himself a small smile at that. "You're a great guy Mulder –"

"Why do I sense a big "but" coming?"

She shook her head. "You _are _a great guy. Back then we were going through some issues. I felt like you didn't trust me entirely, and I resented the way you acted back on that case. That wasn't why I slept with Ed though", she added, as though hearing Mulder's unasked question. It was the first time she'd mentioned it since their argument in her apartment. "I wanted to. I wanted him at that moment, and I just wanted to forget all about the fact my life was about to fall apart".

"I wish you would have talked to me back then", replied Mulder, still wondering how three years later he was still jealous of Ed Jerse. "Although I can see why you didn't. I didn't exactly make it easy for you".

"No you didn't. But then I didn't make it easy for myself either. I should have talked to you, but I wasn't very good at opening up then. I'd like to think I'm better at it now".

"We both are". Scully nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry Scully. I'm sorry for the way I treated you back then, and I'm sorry for not being there for you".

"You're here now", she smiled. "You're still here, even after everything and the way I treated you. The way I've been treating you". Mulder looked confused. "How did you phrase it? Like a fuck buddy".

"Scully". He'd regretted those words the instant he said them. "I didn't mean it".

"You were right though. I was in a way. I thought I could live with just the physical, without giving myself completely. But I can't". She took a deep breath. "I um…I love you Mulder".

Smiling, Mulder closed the gap between them and slipped his arms around her. "I know you do", he replied, kissing her crown. "And I know you still need time. I meant what I said Scully, I'm going to wait for you, until you're completely ready. And when you are, just let me know".

"You'll be the first to know", she replied, smiling against his chest.

"Come on", he said, pulling back after a while. "Let's get this cleared up and then go to bed". He noticed Scully's uncertain expression. "It's late Scully", he said, reaching for her blouse and holding it out for her to slip back into. He then turned her to face him, and slowly did each of the buttons back up. He could see sense her body responding to him, but he willed himself to ignore it. Not now. Soon. "You said yourself Ashley isn't coming home until tomorrow. I like a good lie-in myself. Let's just sleep".

After a moment's pause Scully nodded and smiled, reaching out to squeeze Mulder's hand before getting to work clearing up dinner. Things were changing between them; they both knew it. Finally they were on the same page.

**If anyone has any requests for chapters at any time in my AMC timeline, please let me know and I'll see what I can do. Thanks. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A huge huge thanks goes to DearPearlie, the Batman to my Robin, for writing this chapter, which I adore. Enjoy. **

Mulder looked at himself in Scully's full-length mirror disdainfully. His clothes were way too tight for a late-October night in the nation's capitol. He was sure his nipples were going to be bleeding by the end of the night thanks to the skin-tight lycra material covering his torso. The boots on his feet, if seen by even the lowliest of the staff at the J. Edgar Hoover Building, would get him goaded for being a Peter Pan cos-player for the rest of his life. And the cape was just the cherry on top. He'd been beyond grateful to discover that his costume came with a mask when he opened the package.

Why was he, a 35-year-old man, dressed up in a Robin costume on Halloween? Because four years before, a tiny little partner and her tiny little daughter had walked themselves into his basement and into his life for good. Because earlier this year, that same partner had been diagnosed with cancer as a result of her association with him. Because every day it became increasingly more likely that her daughter would have to face a world in which she'd lost both parents. Because they'd asked him.

Because he loved them. God did he love them.

"Are you ready yet Mulder?" he heard from the other side of the door from Ashley. There was no doubt in his mind that she was pressed up against it and occasionally trying to peek under it. Ever since he'd said yes, she'd been unable to contain her excitement. This was her perfect day.

"Give me a second, gotta get the belt on," he called to the youngster. His words were immediately followed by a huff and the sound of something (someone) sliding down the door. At least one thing was clear – Scully was getting her entertainment for the night.

His man-tights were just that… tight. But after one last glance in the mirror, a deep breath, and a second of silence to remember why he was getting ready to be seen in public wearing that outfit, Mulder opened the door to find the most excited little she-batman the world had ever known.

He suddenly remembered.

"You look just like Robin!" Ashley squealed, brushing her sweaty locks from her neck. Her grin was enough to light up one thousand days.

"That's the idea," Mulder smirked, pausing to take in just how adorable she was. Ashley was getting older, no doubt. She had days where she'd assert her independence with all the ferocity of a Scully female and days in which she all but demanded to be treated like a little girl. Lately, her inherited independence had been winning out. But that night, Mulder felt that he towered hundreds of feet over her. He was amazed at how tiny her hands and features were. When she gazed up at him, dressed in a cheap Robin costume, he felt like a god. She had never seemed so small and vulnerable to him, and that was how he knew they needed each other.

"How do you like my costume?" she asked, twirling around. Her curled hair fluttered around with her. It was hot, and both Scully and Maggie had tried to get the girl to pull it back, but her argument that everybody thinking she was a boy because of her costume would mortify her won out. After a marathon of the old TV show (which Mulder had the complete works of on VHS) one Saturday at Scully's place post-chemotherapy, Ash had been talking about Batman and Robin non-stop. She'd spent weeks bouncing off the walls of Scully's home pretending to vanquish The Joker and Mr. Freeze. Mulder's visits were plagued with repeated requests to play with her. Scully was certain it was just a phase – all kids went through them. But it made her proud that her daughter had watched this silly old TV show and decided that she wanted to be the hero, even if he was a he. It was exactly the kind of decision she had always wanted her daughter to make.

"You look like you're ready to protect the world. Or get a ton of candy. Which one do you wanna do?"

Ashley pretended to think about it for a minute, but gave him her signature smirk not long after.

"Candy."

He should've made that choice somewhere down the road.

"Sounds like a plan. Where's Mom?"

"Here's Mom," Scully surprised him, making her way to the hallway from the living room. There was a camera in her hands, and pictures Mulder was sure were going to end up being used for blackmail were going to be taken that night. But before she could snap any, she had to get over the shock of seeing her full-grown partner dressed in an ill-fitting Robin costume. Her chuckles were impossible to hide.

"Why are you laughing Mommy?" Ashley asked with wide eyes.

"Nothing baby, nothing," she got control of herself. Mulder was rolling his eyes the whole time.

After pictures and a strict rehashing of the rules (no taking candy from anyone on the street, no running ahead, hold Mulder's hand at crosswalks), Mulder and Ashley had managed to make their way out the door and into the cooling night air. It wouldn't be dark for a long time yet, but the smell of autumn was definitely present.

"How much candy do you think we're gonna get Mulder?" Ashley inquired, swinging her empty plastic pumpkin bucket.

"At least thirty pounds. I'd say," Mulder answered. Scully had said that once her bucket was full, trick-or-treating was over for the night, but Mulder had other ideas in mind.

"I don't think this thing is going to carry that much."

"Not to worry," Mulder reached into his shoe to retrieve something he hoped would put a smile on the little girl's face, "I've got an extra bag."

Lo and behold, he shook his arms to reveal a plastic grocery bag, and Ashley was indeed excited by that.

"I'm gonna get more candy than anybody in my class. Even more than Megan, and she steals candy from her mom and dad's candy bucket."

"That's cheating. Tonight is going to be all about good old-fashioned candy acquiring tactics, so turn up the cute there, Batman."

Even for her mask, Mulder could feel her inherited Scully gaze bore right into him, letting him know he'd said the wrong thing.

"Batman isn't cute Mulder," she said with dead seriousness, then proceeded to stretch out her arms and run forward, making her cape flap behind her in the wind.

No, Batman wasn't cute. She was downright irresistible, and Mulder started up a jog to keep pace with her.

XXX

They'd been trick-or-treating for two hours by the time the sun finally started to go down. Ashley had been absolutely ecstatic for it to start getting darker. She'd told Mulder that it "felt more like Halloween that way." Seeing all the scarecrows, jack-o-lanterns, ghosts, and vampires adorning the streets of Georgetown, Mulder was inclined to agree. It still didn't stop Ashley from hitting a wall of sorts, her usual bubbling energy simmered a bit by all the walking, talking, and treat-carrying she'd had to do over the night. Mulder could tell she'd almost had enough when she walked down from the steps of a stately colonial that he knew for a fact was handing out full-size candy bars and resumed her position at his side, not saying a word to him. They continued walking.

"How about we hit a few more houses and call it a night, munchkin? There can't be very much room left in the second candy bag anyway," he suggested. Ashley remained silent, but Mulder chalked that up to her reaction to the unpleasant thought of no longer trick-or-treating. They continued to walk, getting ready to hit up another house in this very profitable neighborhood.

_Excuse me,_ Mulder heard a woman call from the distance. He assumed she was speaking to someone else, though, so he didn't pay her any mind as he kicked his shoe at the ground. Ashley was long gone up the walkway to the next home.

_Excuse me._ Whoever that woman was trying to call out to had better hurry up and answer her, Mulder thought. She didn't sound happy.

"Man in the Robin costume!" she finally yelled, and Mulder looked up. He hadn't seen any other Robins over six feet tall that night, so she had to be speaking to him.

"Yeah?" he asked a thirty-something woman with shoulder-length blond hair coming toward him. There was a crying kid at her side… a crying she-Batman to be precise.

Uh oh.

"I think we switched Batmans," she told him, flustered. Her hands were settled on Ashley's shoulders until they neared and the little girl flung herself at Mulder.

"You lost me," Ashley cried, the shock of finding herself alone in DC for however short a time not dissipating now that she'd been returned to her guardian for the night.

"I'm sorry Ash… I thought you were right beside me."

"Um, I think my son followed you instead. He was very impressed with your costume and thought you were the real Robin," the woman said, a stern look taking over her face as her son appeared. Mulder felt extra stupid as he realized that not only was the child he mistook for Ashley a boy, but he was several years younger and inches shorter than her. Ashley cried harder.

"Thank you for bringing her to me. I'm sorry for the confusion."

"It's not a problem," the woman conceded. Because what else could she say? It only took her a second to snatch up her young son's arm and pull him in the opposite direction, obviously upset with him. Mulder stayed put, upset with himself.

"You're okay, you're okay," he cooed as he ran his fingers through Ashley's hair. Her mask long gone, he tried his best to swipe the tears away with his thumbs.

"I was scared," Ash said through deep heaves.

"I know sweetie. I'm sorry it was scary."

"Can we go home now?"

The sun had officially set now, and that sounded like a perfect idea to Mulder.

"Yeah, we can. You got all your candy?"

Calming slightly, Ashley nodded.

"Perfect." In a move that she hadn't done since she was a very little girl, Ash held up her arms as a sign that she wanted to be carried. Instead of fighting her or telling her that she was too old to be carried like Scully would've no doubt wanted him to, Mulder scooped her up without hesitation and breathed a deep sigh of relief when she lay her head down on his shoulder. He walked all the way back to Scully's that way. Because that's what sidekicks were for.

XXX

Ashley was out like a light by the time Mulder knocked on Scully's door. It was to be expected. She'd had a big night ending with a big scare. Her bat ears were now on his head, making him an adult man in a Robin costume with a Batman mask on. Scully laughed when she answered the door.

"Have a good time?" she asked, letting them in.

"You don't know the half of it," Mulder exhaled as he placed the sleeping Ashley carefully on the couch. And of course he didn't miss Scully's look of scorn when he deposited two chock-full candy bags on the kitchen table.

"Mulderr…"

"Come on Scully, it's Halloween. She's eight. Let her have all the candy she wants."

"I hope you're ready to pay for her dentist bills."

"You know, we could help eliminate some of the candy Ash may eat in a very simple way."

Scully thought it over. Eating her child's candy before she'd even had a chance to dig into it seemed very wrong on a parental level. On the other hand, it was the natural order of things. She knew her dad had done it when she was a kid. Plus, it would be irresponsible of her to not even check the bags for razor blades…

Giggling like children, Mulder and Scully dumped the bags out on the table and carefully picked out the ones they wanted most. Bat-Ashley slept on, blissfully unaware.


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter was written by DearPearlie - huge thanks once again to her. I love everything she brings to this universe. Happy Halloween everyone!**

Scully had never seen a being look as happy as the unique monster, the Great Mutato, did when the chorus of the Cher song began to play in the hall. That was, until the singer came down to take his hand and began to serenade him, having been told, and it being extremely evident, what a big fan he was. Nobody could keep the smiles from their faces. It had been Mulder's idea to do this, to treat their suspect-turned-victim to the concert not far from his home. Her heart warmed at the thought. It was the type of thing he would do for Ashley. Sometimes Dana Scully was absolutely taken aback by her partner's overwhelming capacity to do good in other peoples' lives.

Maybe it was the second cocktail flowing through her blood, maybe it was the atmosphere, but her hand seemed to glide of its own accord into Mulder's, even as the rest of her hesitated, when he wordlessly asked for her to dance with him. Like magnets, her buzzed body bumped against his own while the music thumped in the background. He'd thought it was a long shot. Mulder hadn't imagined, even for a moment, that when he offered his hand out to his partner, she would take it, and they would be swaying back and forth together to the music that they sensed that night on more than one level. However, it occurred to him that maybe he did. Maybe he knew that the alcohol had made her loose and that she couldn't say no to his gesture. Maybe when he had stood in front of her, head down, almost begging for her proximity, he could already feel her hand in his own. And he knew he was pushing dangerously hard against a door he had been determined to keep locked, but he didn't care. She was alive and he was alive and they were happy and together and for once a case didn't end with a hospital visit. It wasn't unreasonable for them to want to celebrate.

Mulder delicately allowed himself to look deeply at his partner's features while her face was turned toward the stage. She could feel him looking at her, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, like she usually would, she reveled in it. He could look. He had gained the ability to look.

She was there and in his arms and breathing, and that made her the most beautiful woman in the world to Mulder. Her skin was still pale, her cheeks were still gaunt, and her hair was still thin from her bouts with chemo. But across that face was the widest, most genuine smile he had ever seen Scully put forth toward anything beyond the scope of her daughter. And then she looked back at him.

Had she ever been looked at with such love? Had she ever been so admired by a male? Scully supposed so. She'd had a life once upon a time and she'd known how to make a man look at her like that. It was nice to know she hadn't forgotten, and that while she'd spent more nights than not alone since her daughter had come into the world, she could still feel that low tickle in the pit of her belly and that she could make Mulder look at her. No. Really see her.

After they'd been searching each other's eyes for God knows how long, Mulder's nose guided the rest of his face to lean close. So close, she thought he was going to kiss her. She knew what she would do in that event. There was no question there. Instead, she felt his warm breath against her ear, whispering to her. Her ears were buzzing and there was a slight ring added into the mix, but she knew what Mulder wanted when he said, "Let's go outside."

It was cold, but anywhere would have been cold after breaking from the heated exchange they had just shared. He threw his coat around her shoulders before she even had time to get chilly.

"When I was a kid, I used to pretend I was smoking whenever I could see my breath in the air," Mulder laughed, holding a mock cigarette to his lips and blowing a puff of air out into the night.

Scully just smiled and looked at her feet.

"What do you think is going to happen to him, Mulder?" she was referring to the Great Mutato.

"Well, hopefully he can live out his life in the town he was… born and raised in, without any troubles. I mean, I think he got through to the mob that night…"

"But do you think anyone will love him? Do you think anyone will love him as much as his father loved him? Or is he too damaged?"

They weren't talking about the Great Mutato and they both knew it.

"You know, Scully, we never really talked about your cancer," he went out on a pretty thin limb to bring this up.

"There's nothing to talk about."

Mulder laughed out loud, having played that sentence in his mind long before she said it.

"What do you want to talk about, then?" Scully asked, irritated that Mulder was going to ruin their nice night by bringing up the time where she should have died. "I was sick but now I'm better. I don't know how or why or what saved my sorry ass, and you know what? I don't care to."

Her partner looked off into the distance, finding himself agreeing with her. For all of his truth seeking and justice finding, he wanted to leave that chip in Scully's neck alone.

"I wasn't ready for you to die," he admitted as calmly as he could.

Scully's breath froze in her lungs.

"And I was mad at you, so mad at you sometimes, because I felt that you had given up. Especially when you invited the priest into your room and began to pray… I was mad at you for putting your science on the back burner and turning to something I felt was useless at best. But I'm sorry for that. No matter what you did, I wasn't ready. And I have to admit that I wonder more often now whether or not God heard me begging to let you live."

He didn't mean to make her cry. There were few things that could. Her face contorted and tears brimmed on the brink of her eyelids and just as they were about to fall, his arms opened wide and his soft chest was there to soak them up.

"What I would have missed," she mumbled against him, and he tightened his arms around her and rested his head on the top of hers.

"No more of this Scully," now Mulder was fighting back tears, "No more. I want you to go to Skinner and hand him your letter of resignation from the X-files. You have suffered too much and you have too much to lose and I won't let you keep doing this."

"I'm not going anywhere," she told him.

"Listen to me Scully. You have a beautiful daughter who can't afford to be without her mother. You have a family who loves you. You have a promising career ahead of you. You let me chase the monsters, okay?"

"I can't do that."

"Please Scully."

"No!"

She had pulled back from him, in fight position. Didn't he understand that she wasn't ready to lose him either?

"I can't do that, Mulder. I can't let you do this alone. This stopped being your journey a long time ago."

"Don't feed me that crap. This journey is killing you."

"One day I will find out what happened to me. I will find out why I was taken and I will find out why I was given cancer. And I will keep other women from going through what I went through. But I can't do that from behind a desk on the fourth floor, Mulder. I can't do that without the X-files. I can't do that without you. I'm alive right now and there's a good reason for that. Don't ask me to leave."

While he contemplated her words, the path she was choosing, Mulder began to shiver.

"I think we should go back inside." He respected her, but sometimes he couldn't help feeling that he had ruined her life.

"You go on ahead, I'll be right back in," Scully told him, handing him back his jacket.

And when he walked past her, Mulder wondered if Scully knew how her one decision had saved his life… again.


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter contains spoilers for How the Ghosts Stole Christmas...yes it's that time of year again kids. Merry Christmas, thanks for reading and thanks for all your support. This goes out to my friend and co-writer DearPearlie who asked for a story like this. Hope it's to your liking :)**

Mulder slowly came awake as the sun filtered through the blinds and into his apartment. He blinked, trying to focus as he regained his senses, when he suddenly became aware of something warm pressing against his chest. Looking down through hooded eyes, he realized it was Scully, her head resting against his shoulder and her arm wrapped around his torso. And she was sound asleep. Spotting the blanket that he'd covered them with just a few hours beforehand, now pooled around their waists, Mulder lifted it back over them so it sat just below Scully's chin. She looked too peaceful to wake, and he was hesitant to spoil the moment. Yes they'd shared the same sleeping space before, but it had been a while since he'd woken up with Scully wrapped in his arms. Usually it only happened under duress. This was new, and frankly he felt as though he could get used to it. Unable to stop himself, Mulder leaned down and pressed his lips against Scully's warm forehead. "Merry Christmas," he whispered, then froze when he felt Scully shift against him. The last thing he wanted to do was wake her, and he prepared himself for the moment she opened her eyes and quickly shifted away from him.

"Hmm…Merry Christmas…" Scully murmured sleepily, moving her head into the crook of Mulder's neck and sighing contentedly. Moments later he felt her drift off to sleep once again, and he finally allowed himself to relax and savour the moment. She looked so much like Ashley at that moment, so young and so innocent, as though she hadn't a care in the world – as though barely a year ago she hadn't battled her way through cancer and buried her new-found daughter. He loved her; that he knew. He'd loved her for a long time now. He'd even told her recently, though she hadn't believed him, and Mulder knew deep down that she needed time. For now though, he'd simply hold her in his arms until she woke. It was definitely the best start to Christmas he'd had in a long time.

xxxxxx

"Remind me why I'm doing this again Scully?" Mulder asked, as Scully drove them towards her mom's house.

His partner smirked. "Because you want to spend Christmas Day with my brother?"

"You didn't tell me Charlie's going to be there."

"Nice try."

Mulder groaned. "Bill hates me."

"He doesn't hate you. Maybe just dislikes you immensely?" There was no use pretending, Scully thought. There was no love lost between Bill and Mulder – it had been evident since their first meeting when Scully was in hospital. Last year – back when Scully lost Emily – the two had maintained an uneasy truce, but the tension in the room had been almost overwhelming. It was going to be an interesting day to say the least, but Maggie had invited Mulder to spend the day with them, as had Scully. The previous night, when Scully was at his apartment, she'd invited him too but he'd refused. All it took to change his mind was an early morning telephone call from Ashley begging him to come. "It wouldn't be Christmas without you Mulder," she'd pleaded, and finally he'd relented. He never could say no to the little girl.

"Maybe I should go."

"I know one little girl who's eager to see you this morning," Scully said as she turned into her mom's drive. No sooner had she pulled up outside Maggie's house, the front door opened and Ashley came running outside. Smiling, Scully unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door, just in time for her daughter to launch herself at her. "Merry Christmas mom!" Ashley cried, jumping into Scully's outstretched arms.

"Merry Christmas baby." Her daughter may have been ten years old and almost too old to pick up, but Scully still relished moments like this. She pressed a kiss to Ashley's crown, inhaling her daughter's scent.

"We've been waiting for you before we opened gifts," said Ashley as Scully set her back on the ground. Within seconds her daughter had wrapped her arms around Mulder. "Merry Christmas Mulder."

"Merry Christmas Squirt."

"I'm so glad you came." Scully could tell by the look on Mulder's face that he was too. "Now you're here we can open presents."

"Is that the only reason you're glad I'm here?" Mulder asked, releasing his grasp on Ashley and stepping round to the trunk to help Scully with the gift bags.

"Well…I guess I'm glad to see you."

"Don't tell me, you're glad to see the extra gifts too." After a moment Ashley grinned and nodded. "C'mon Scully," he said, well aware by now that Ashley was impatient at the best of times. "Let's not keep her ladyship waiting any longer." As Ashley skipped off back towards the house, Mulder followed her, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself to come face to face with Bill Scully once again.

Xxxxxx

Mulder watched as Scully hugged her brother and sister-in-law, before moving to greet her nephew. Though Scully was smiling, it didn't quite reach her eyes, and Mulder knew she was thinking about Emily, the little girl who died just as Matthew was being born. The Holidays were no doubt bringing back a lot of bad memories for her. Ashley stood by her mom, waiting patiently, though Mulder could tell she was dying to get stuck into opening presents. "Merry Christmas Mr Mulder."

"Merry Christmas Bill." Mulder thought about trying to shake Scully's brother's hand politely, but figured Bill would probably ignore it. Instead he extended a smile to Tara, who was holding a very shy Matthew in her arms. Almost a year old, the little boy was a definite Scully, with his father's colouring and bright blue eyes. "Hi Tara."

"Hi Mulder. Merry Christmas." Tara's greeting at least seemed genuine.

"Merry Christmas."

"Can I get you anything Fox?" Maggie asked. "Dana?"

Scully shook her head, and Mulder followed suit. Maggie was always so welcoming towards him. "No thanks Maggie." Out of the corner of his eye he could have sworn he saw Bill glare at him, but he pretended not to notice.

Ashley couldn't wait any longer. "Can we open gifts now?" Her eyes darted to the bags Mulder was carrying, and she watched as he placed them next to the pile of parcels already sitting underneath the tree.

Scully grinned. "I don't know," she looked at Mulder. "What do you think?"

"Well…"

"Please Mulder? I've been waiting all morning for you to get here."

"Yeah what kept you Dana?" Bill asked, shooting his sister and her partner pointed looks.

"We were investigating something."

"On Christmas Eve?"

"It was my fault –" Mulder began, aware he was going to get the blame anyway, but Scully shook her head and interrupted.

"Bill, it's Christmas. And Christmas means presents," she said to Ashley, giving her daughter the go-ahead to get started. As the little girl rushed towards the tree, Mulder felt Scully take hold of his hand. He followed as she led him over towards the sofa, relieved she and Ashley were there to protect him from the wrath of Bill.

Xxxxxxxxx

"I love it mom!" Ashley held up the pink sweater adorned with hearts, her smile wide. "It's just like the one I wanted!"

"It is the one you wanted," laughed Scully, accepting a hug off of her daughter. She watched as Ashley returned to the tree, this time aiming for one of the bags that Mulder had carried in. She pulled out a small parcel, and after reading the tag, stepped forward once again and handed it to her mom. "This is from Mulder," she said playfully.

"Thank you Mulder," said Scully softly, her cheeks pinking. Mulder smiled, well aware that all eyes in the room were on him.

"You haven't opened it yet."

"Go on mom!" Ashley's words prompted Scully into action, and she began unwrapping the gift. She was going too slowly for her daughter's liking. "Rip it!"

Shaking her head, Scully did as Ashley commanded and ripped open the packaging, revealing a small velvet box. Her heart seemed to stop momentarily as she took in the sight of it, until she remembered that just a few years prior, a similar looking box had held a keychain. Telling herself it was Mulder, and that the box could contain anything, Scully opened it, letting out a gasp as she saw the set of pearl earrings. "Mulder!" she exclaimed, unable to take her eyes off of the gift. "These are beautiful."

Blushing, Mulder smiled shyly. "I wasn't sure what to get you. I mean I figured a key chain was out."

"You shouldn't have. This is too much."

"It's nothing," he said, dismissing her comments with a wave. "It's nothing much."

"I've got one too!" Ashley interrupted, holding an identical parcel in her hand. Both Mulder and Scully watched as she opened it, revealing a similar set of earrings. "Thank you Mulder," the youngster enthused, throwing her arms around the man sitting in front of her. "I love them."

"You're welcome."

Ashley pecked him on the cheek. "Love you."

"Love you right back," Mulder said, glad he was able to spend Christmas with his two favorite people, even if he did have to deal with Bill Scully.

Xxxxxxx

These are the last of the dishes," Scully said, as she entered the kitchen armed with a stack of plates. "Tara's just taken Matty upstairs for his nap, and Mulder and Ashley are on the sofa watching Home Alone. From the looks of them they'll probably be asleep by the time the credits roll.

Maggie smiled as she took one of the dishes that her daughter had sat down on the counter. Bill, who was standing next to her, picked up a towel ready to dry. "How many times has Ashley seen that movie?"

"Too many. And Mulder's just as bad."

"Honestly Dana," said Bill. "Didn't he have somewhere better to be today?"

Scully glared at her brother. "Ashley and I wanted him to spend Christmas with us. Mom invited him."

"He's not family."

"Not your family maybe, but to Ashley and I he is."

"What's going on between you guys?"

"I'm sorry?"

Bill gestured to the earrings that Scully was now wearing. She couldn't resist popping them in straight away, and Ashley had done the same. Despite Mulder protesting that they hadn't cost a great deal, Scully knew the truth, and knew her partner had spent more money than he should have done on both she and her daughter, especially given everything else he'd bought Ashley. "You don't buy your colleague pearl earrings."

"We're friends."

"I don't buy my friends things like that either."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing," said Bill, though it was clear he did have something on his mind. Sure enough he couldn't stop himself. "It just seems like you were doing a lot more than investigating together last night."

"Go to hell Bill," said Scully, her patience wearing thin. "What Mulder and I were doing last night is none of your concern."

"So you're saying you weren't working last night?"

Scully said nothing, instead folding her arms in front of her.

"Are you kidding? Are you that stupid Dana?"

"Tara's putting Matty down for his nap," she said, deliberately avoiding his question. "And he's not too happy about it. I'm sure she could do with a hand."

Shaking his head, Bill threw down the towel and pushed past his sister. "If you want to ruin your life, go ahead," he warned as he left the room.

Scully sighed, while Maggie rolled her eyes. She was more than used to arguments between her children, and knew by now it was best not to intervene. Instead Maggie handed the dish she'd just rinsed to her daughter, who had retrieved the towel that Mulder had discarded. "Well I like Fox," she commented casually. "And he does have excellent taste in gifts."

"He does. He likes to spoil Ashley."

"I wasn't just talking about Ashley." Her cheeks reddening, Scully busied herself drying the dishes, but Maggie wasn't about to let her get away with it. "He brought you pearl earrings Dana."

"Don't you start mom. I know he did."

"Is that usually what colleagues buy one another for Christmas?"

"Mulder's extravagant. He spends too much on Ashley and this year he did the same with me. He's a friend mom," she added as she saw Maggie's smirk. "Stop trying to read into things. You're just as bad as Bill."

"Ashley said you spent the night with Fox. At his apartment."

"We were on a case."

"All night?"

"It was late when I dropped Mulder off," Scully lied. "And it was snowing. It made sense not to drive here. Nothing happened," she added. "Contrary to what you and Bill might believe, there is nothing going on between Mulder and I."

"That may be the case now, but I see the way he looks at you. It's the same way he's looked at you for a long time now."

"Mom."

"He loves you Dana. Surely you can see that? The way he is with you, and Ashley for that matter…"

"Mulder's a good man. He adores Ashley."

"Yes he does. And you too."

"I don't want to talk about this mom."

"Why not?"

"Because it's Christmas, and I want us to enjoy the rest of the day."

"Why will us talking about this ruin the day?"

"Because I can't think about this mom. I can't let myself think about how Mulder looks at me or feels about me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm scared," Scully sighed, abandoning the towel she was holding.

"Of what?"

"Ruining everything."

"Dana, you wouldn't ruin anything."

"Yes I would. Mulder is my partner mom, we work together. Not only that, he's the closest thing Ashley has ever had to a father."

"And?"

"And what if something goes wrong? What if Mulder and I did get together but then we split up? What if he doesn't want anything to do with Ashley or I anymore? She'd be devastated and I…I can't risk that, even if I wanted to."

"And do you want to?"

After a moment Scully broke her mom's gaze, unwilling to meet her eye. "I can't."

"But you want to." Scully didn't answer, telling her mom everything she needed to know. "Dana, I know you've been hurt in the past, but Mulder isn't like Jack."

"I know that mom," she said, her voice wavering. "And that's why I can't ruin this."

Maggie nodded in understanding. "One day you might think differently. I hope you do, because I want you to be happy, and I think Fox will make you and Ashley very happy."

"He does –" Scully paused as Mulder entered the kitchen, carrying a glass. "She who must be obeyed has sent me out for a glass of water –" He hesitated, as though realizing he'd just interrupted a moment between the two women. "Is everything ok?"

"Fine," Scully said unconvincingly.

"I'm going to check on Matthew," said Maggie, making herself scarce. No sooner was she out of the room, then Scully, in a move which surprised even herself, marched up to Mulder and threw her arms around him.

"You ok?" The move took Mulder by surprise too, but he composed himself quickly, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Mmm. I'm glad you're here. Thank you for coming."

"Thank you for inviting me."

"It's not Christmas without you."

Mulder smiled, feeling his heartrate increase just that little bit more. "I know today hasn't been easy for you, what with what happened last year."

"It hasn't."

"The holidays never are," said Mulder, speaking from experience. "But you've got a great family, and that adorable if bossy little girl out there must make it a little easier."

"You're our family too," Scully replied, squeezing Mulder tightly. "Ashley and I are lucky to have you in our lives."

"I was just thinking how glad I was to have you guys," he said smiling. "Thanks Scully, this has been the best Christmas in a long long time."

"Even with Bill?"

"Even with Bill."

Whether it was the conversation she'd just had with her mother, or the fact it was Christmas Scully didn't know, but without thinking she rose onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips against Mulder's. Before he even had time to react, she'd pulled back, smiling at him shyly. "Merry Christmas Mulder," she whispered in a voice that made him want to kiss her once again.

"Merry Christmas Scully."

With that Scully took hold of his hand and led him back towards the living room and their little girl.


	9. Chapter 9

**I've been a little slow at updating recently, but I thought I'd post this now. It's short, fluffy, daft and doesn't make sense, but it's just a little snapshot of the Mulder/Scully family at Christmas, and it's my Christmas treat for you all in case I don't get round to updating the Revisted story before the big day. Thanks everyone for sticking by my story, and for their reviews, constructive criticism and kind words. Have a great Christmas, and here's hoping 2017 is kinder to us all. Thanks again. **

Mulder crept down the stairs, taking his time, careful not to drop the pile of heavy gifts he was carrying. It was his fifth and final trip from the attic down to the living room, and though he considered himself a fit person, he was struggling. He made a mental note to tell Scully that the following year they'd either have to cut down on Christmas presents for William and Ellie, or get them smaller, easier to carry gifts which wouldn't threaten to send him hurtling down the stairs or put his back out. This year William had insisted to Santa that he wanted a train set, a new bike, and copious amounts of Lego, while Scully had found Ellie an activity table that would keep the tot busy for hours, in addition to a ride on Disney Princess carriage that she just couldn't resist buying. Add to that Ashley's requests of expensive jewellery and baseball tickets and Mulder's pockets were feeling a lot lighter. He only wished he could have sold a few more books to support his family's expensive taste.

When he'd finally deposited the last of the gifts as close to the Christmas tree as possible – which wasn't easy bearing in mind how many there were – Mulder groaned in relief, straightened up and retrieved the digital camera from his pocket. He switched it on and stood back, trying to get all of the presents in shot, which was no mean feat. After he'd taken a few snaps – at Scully's request of course – he placed the camera back in his pocket and headed back up the stairs, straightening his beard as he walked. It was a Mulder Christmas tradition to dress up as Santa each year while he sorted the kids' presents. He and Scully had three inquisitive children, one of whom believed wholeheartedly in Santa, and he knew it would break William's heart if he discovered that the big guy wasn't real. Little Ellie on the other hand, was the opposite, and had developed a severe dislike to Santa since her encounter with him at the mall. Every time there was a commercial on featuring someone dressed up as Santa, or even if William mentioned his name, the little girl burst into tears – on a good day – and sometimes simply stiffened and screamed and clutched at one or both of her parents until the danger had passed. As a result William was banned from talking about Santa in front of his sister, although sometimes he dropped his name into conversation just to laugh when Ellie got upset, and none of them were allowed to talk about the night where Santa would visit their house. The little girl was distraught enough seeing him on television, let alone realizing he'd be in her home while she was asleep. Both Mulder and Scully hoped she'd grow out of her fear so that in future years she could enjoy Christmas just as her brother and sister had done.

Just as Mulder reached the top of the stairs, he could detect the sound of his youngest daughter crying. Most nights Ellie slept right through, but Mulder presumed his daughter could sense the excitement in the house and wanted in on the action. He wondered whether she'd settle down herself and was just about to return to his own room when he heard her little voice. "Mama! Mama!" Mulder paused. He looked down at himself and then back up towards the door at the end of the hall, to William's bedroom. The little boy had recently gone through a period of waking in the night, and Mulder recalled a Christmas a few years back when William discovered his dad dressed as Santa. Thankfully Ashley had been on hand to save the day before her brother discovered the truth about Santa, but Mulder doubted he'd be able to pull it off this time. He quickly decided to go to his daughter before her cries escalated and William woke up. Just as he reached the door to the nursery Ellie's cries indeed escalated. He opened the door and switched on the light. "Hey Meatball, what's all this noise?" he asked as he saw his daughter standing up in her crib, clinging onto the side as she cried. "What's got you so upset baby, have –"

His words were drowned out as Ellie suddenly looked over at him, her eyes going wide before she let out a piercing scream. It was then he realized just why she had reacted to him in that way. "Shit!" he hissed, quickly closing the door behind him so as not to wake the others, before he pulled down the fake beard and discarded the hat. "I'm sorry Meatball, it's daddy. See?" He approached the crib cautiously, not wanting to scare the baby further but wanting her to quieten before William came to find out what the noise was. "Ssssh baby, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. See?" he asked as he stood right in front of his daughter. "It's me. It's daddy. I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm sorry for scaring you."

"Ellie?"

Mulder stiffened as he heard his son's voice on the other side of the door, and so he hastily lifted Ellie into his arms. "It's ok baby," he said, looking for a place to hide before William got the shock of his life and Mulder ended up with two distraught children on his hands. "Daddy's got you." He quickly raced back over to the door, flicking off the light, and had barely made it behind the crib when the door opened. "Ellie?"

Mulder crouched behind the crib with a wriggling, still crying Ellie in his arms. "It's ok Will," he called out. "Your sister's upset. Go back to bed please."

"She's crying a lot," William argued, entering the bedroom.

Mulder's heart stopped, and he was grateful that William wasn't yet tall enough to reach the light switch. "It's ok buddy, I've got her." Ellie must have recognized Mulder's voice, and her cries had slowly simmered down to whimpers. She clung to him, resting her head on his shoulder, earning herself a kiss on the cheek in response as Mulder gently rubbed her back soothingly. "Atta girl Meatball," he whispered. "You're ok."

"Where are you daddy?"

"Daddy!" Ellie suddenly exclaimed, reaching out to pat Mulder's cheek. He nodded against her and then replied to his son.

"I'm over here Will, but please go back to bed," he replied, not wanting to sound too stern, but also trying to deter William from crossing the room to find him. "If you don't then San…then you won't get any gifts tomorrow."

"But –"

"Will, what's happening?" Scully entered the bedroom behind her son and reached out to switch on the light. "Leave the switch Scully," Mulder snapped, and thankfully she did as he said. "Meatball was upset so I came in to get her. Will heard the noise and came to investigate, but I've told him that he _really needs to go back to bed_," he stressed, hoping Scully would take the hint. Thankfully she did. "Come on baby," she said, approaching the little boy and taking hold of his hand. "Let's go back to bed shall we? Daddy's looking after Eleanor and you'll need your energy for tomorrow morning. We'll all need our energy for the morning," she added, and Mulder hummed in agreement. William was like a whirlwind at the best of times, but his excitement tripled on Christmas morning. As Scully led him out of the bedroom, William paused and bent to pick something up off the floor. "What's this?" he asked as he and Scully stepped out into the hallway. As he went out into the light he looked down and squealed. "Look mom, he's been!"

As Mulder stood he could see William holding his previously discarded Santa hat. Scully shot him a warning look before quickly closing the door and hurrying the little boy along the corridor, leaving Mulder alone with Ellie. "That was a close one Meatball," he murmured to his daughter, rocking her gently in his arms. "You almost gave the game away but I think we covered it up well, don't you?" he asked, though his heart was still racing. "I'm sorry for scaring you though with my Santa outfit."

"Santaaaaa," Ellie replied, sucking on her fingers.

"That's right baby, Santa. You see, he's not so scary after all, is he?"

"Santa. Daddy." She looked up at him and even in the dark Mulder could make out her cheeky grin. "Daddy Santa."

Sometimes it didn't pay to have intelligent children, Mulder thought to himself. "Let's keep that just between us, shall we Meatball?"

"Santa Daddy!"

Xxxxx

"Mommy! Daddy! He's been!"

William raced down the stairs towards Mulder, who was waiting with the camera poised, ready to snap pictures of his excited children. Scully came walking down the stairs behind her son, carrying baby Ellie, who was rubbing her eyes wearily. William had woken his entire family up at just past 5am, eager to get downstairs and started on unwrapping his gifts – although Mulder and Scully tried to get him to sleep a little longer, it was to no avail. Scully had barely enough time to put on her bathrobe and get Ellie from the nursery before William was racing downstairs. Little Ellie was tired, as were they all, but she seemed to realize that something exciting was happening. Mulder and Scully only hoped that their youngest daughter wouldn't be too wired to nap later that afternoon, else they'd be faced with a very cranky little girl come evening.

"Wow, look at all those presents Will," said Ashley, who was following her mom down the stairs. She shook her head in amusement when she saw just how many gifts were waiting for them. She was no doubt exhausted, having finished late at her new waitressing job, but she too was excited. Ashley may have been 18, but she still loved Christmas as much as she did when Mulder first met her. Some things would never change.

"I have been a good boy this year," William replied, his expression deadly serious.

"You've been a better boy," Scully corrected him. Just a few weeks previously, after a spate of time outs for bad behaviour and poor life choices, William had received a letter from Santa, reminding him to be a good boy and not to get into any more trouble at home. Thankfully he'd done as Santa had suggested, although his parents knew they could only use that mode of bribery for a year or two more at best.

"Are these _all _for me?"

"No baby, they're for everyone." Scully set Ellie down on the floor, then crouched down beside her. "Look baby, presents! Presents for Ellie!"

Ellie glanced over at the pile of gifts, her eyes wide, then looked back at her mom. "Lee?"

"That's right. Presents for Ellie."

"And for William," the little boy said to his sister. "Santa's brought us lots and lots of things!" Leaving his sister's side, William rushed over to a large oddly shaped parcel with his name on it. "This is for me?" He immediately began tearing at it, while Mulder took photos and the rest of his family looked on for amusement. "Santa's brought me a bike!"

"Daddy!" Ellie suddenly spoke up, pointing at Mulder.

"What do you say to Santa, Will?" Scully asked. "He can hear you."

"Thank you Santa!"

"Daddy!"

Mulder shook his head at his little girl, as though trying to warn her, forgetting she was only eighteen months old and not aware of the consequences of what she was saying. "Ok Meatball, if you want to get in on the action you can." He scooped her up into his arms, then looked around for a label with her name on. "Here –"

"Santa Daddy!"

William looked over at his sister. "No stupid," he stressed. "That's daddy. Santa's back in the North Pole."

"Daddy Santa!"

"Daddy's not Santa." For a second William looked unconvinced and, not for the first time, Ashley stepped in to save the day.

"Hey Will, what else did Santa bring you? Look at this!" she pointed at another large parcel and instantly William had forgotten the conversation. Scully edged closer to her partner, shaking her head. "What's all that about?" she whispered, her eyes on her son's delight as he tore at the wrapping to reveal another gift.

"Meatball saw me as you know who last night."

"I know that."

"Yeah well for some reason we make intelligent babies, and now all she keeps saying is 'daddy Santa'. She's as good at keeping secrets as you are Scully."

Scully smiled, shaking her head at her daughter, who grinned cheekily up at her. "On the one hand I'm proud of her, but…"

"Yeah."

"Just keep it a secret for a few more years sweetheart," said Scully, taking Ellie from her dad and kissing her. "Give your daddy and I some more time to bribe your brother to be good, ok?"

Ellie shook her head, giggling as her mom tickled her. "Daddy Santa!"


End file.
